I had the strangest experience along ‘Rue Albert’ today.
Being a polite well brought up individual, I held the door to a shop open and let a little old lady out before going in.
When I left I found she had waited for me.
She started going on about how unusual it was to find polite people these days etc.
I smiled, told her ‘No problem’ and tried to get away.
People, she grabbed hold of my hand and started walking with me.
I was mildly freaked out.
I’m not good with being touched.
I tried to gently shake her off but she was having none of it.
I gave in and asked her where she was going, carried her bag, held her hand and walked her home.
She told me she was 84 and then out of the blue said,
“Are you a homosexual?”
I was moderately freaked out.
I um-ed and ah-ed and then said, “Yes”.
Then started hoping that she wasn’t one of the old dears from Mass.
I don’t need that shit.
She stopped at a gate and I handed her the shopping, as she took it she said,
“Forty years ago I would have gone for you! Just my type!” and winked.
I was totally freaked out.
She was laughing her head off as she went inside.
I smiled all the way home.
Gives you hope doesn’t it?!
Housemate Claire had her appointment with the Consultant today.
Her ultrasound confirms that the tumour has broken up.
This is not good.
They will only be able to get 70% of it with a Lumpectomy.
Claire has decided that is unacceptable.
The surgeons don’t want to do a Mastectomy as it’s a bit fecking brutal.
Instead they are going to give her Breast Reduction Surgery.
The excess fat removed will contain all the cancerous shite and they’ll do the other one so she is ‘balanced’.
She’s having a boob job on the NHS and is delighted!
To all of you who have had words with your various Deities on her behalf, Thank You.
Blessed are you our G-d,
Creator of time and space,
Who has supported us,
Protected us and brought us to this moment.
14 comments:
How I laughed at both stories! The first one could only happen to you. And your 'gaydar' was def off there, no?
The second one made me chuckle because it just isn't what you expect to happen given the diagnosis you outlined, but boy is it ever the sensible option! And if Claire is game for a boob job then totally fair play and a result all round. Which isn't normally the outcome of things like this is it?
By far the best piece of writing I've had the pleasure to read all week. And that includes Richard Eyre's diaries at the National Theatre, so you are in good company :-)
Nice prayer too...recited that as well. v.g. girlfriend, v.g.
Sassy.. I believe that it's an accepted truth that the Gaydar is useless with those old enough to be ones Grandparents. It's plain wrong!
She is SO up for the boob job!
Thank you!
lol! Still on the market I see!!!
Sorry to hear about Claire, you're right, that is not good. However, there is still hope and that is what keeps us humans going. My positive thoughts go with her.
P.S. Good call going to see your dad. I bet that really cheered him up; the best form of medicine.
Dred.. I was afraid!
Claire is really positive. Looking forward to getting it all sorted.
Dad got out of hand towards the end.
The booze. Not good.
Oh, sorry about your Dad's hijinx at the end of your visit. I guess the whole thing must've really knocked him out of kilter as you've not really seen much of each other for a while. So you were really brave to get through it gracefully. I know it was hard, and I am really pleased that you went and saw him. I bet he loved it too...
I am also doing my submission for regrading - i.e. promotion. God it is dreary shit.
Sassy.. When does the semester start?
Teaching starts next week. Induction week this week.
Eeeesh!
HI. Thanks for the comment. I am also enjoying your blog also.
Hohohoho, if only you could bottle it!
Ana Jurney.. Welcome!
Schnee.. It wouldn't sell!
Well I'm with Schnee, you've obviously not lost your touch.
BTW, it's 9.30 and I've already seen a cop car go down the road - call me suspicious and a curtain twitcher but you don't tend to see many of them round here. You might need to engage that pikey-watch facility you provide so well:-)
Pikey Watch.. 'It takes one to know one', as they say!
Big Pikey contingent on paternal side!
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