Thursday, October 11, 2007

Tate And Fate

The Tate Modern’s latest installation is basically a fecking big hole in the floor.
It’s 548 feet long, in some places 3 foot deep and 10 inches across.
It is called ‘Shibboleth’ and is by Colombian artist Doris Salcedo. It has been the subject of many TV news stories, newspaper articles and radio shows.
Still, after all that, two people have managed to fall in it!
How?
There are posters describing the ’art’, warning signs and of course, a frigging great hole in the ground.
Some people are beyond stupid and these definitely fall into my ‘walking organ donor’ group.

We have had a ‘Wake’ for Helmut the tortoise..
Sassy, Rob and the usual subjects attended.
We toasted the utter pointlessness of his petdom.
Bearing in mind he was asleep half the fucking year!
The strange thing is that this reptile hung around longer than Parents, Grandparents and siblings. What a Dude!
We have drunk 7 bottles of wine, half a bottle of Slivovitz, tea from Raffles Hotel in Singapore and Cointreau.
I’m considering posting the recipes I made up.

Housemate Claire is having to choose the way she is ‘put back together’ after her surgery.
The choice being staples or stitches.

From my experience of motorcycle crashes, broken noses with the bone protruding from a nostril, appendix operation, cuts in my mouth, split lips, cuts over my eyes, cuts in my scalp, lacerations on my back and thighs from a belt.
Cuts under my eyes, cuts in my upper lip, the stab wound in my shoulder, the stab wound at the top of my hip, the stab wound between 4th and 5th rib on the left.
The cut nerve in my right thumb and little finger. The slashes in my wrist (Self Inflicted)
Repairing the rape damage the Step Dad had done to my anus, which I think was the most unpleasant.

Before you start believing I am THE most accident prone person on earth, I’d just like to say that all injuries were a 50/50 split from ATM and Step Father number one. (Except the bike smash and the appendix!)
All of them were secured using ‘Silk’, not a fucking staple in sight.
Surgeons like nothing better than showing off their skills.
I’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy.
Sutures all the way!

I’d be interested to hear any positive ‘Staples’ stories.

6 comments:

Schneewittchen said...

People can be so very, very stupid. *shakes head*

Sleepy said...

Tis true... There are some proper window lickers out there!

Sassygril said...

That was some dinner. You cooked up a storm as per.

Helmut was remembered with full honours!

Crisp-e said...

Never had either, but I would vote stitches, they sound less messy.

Cheers to Helmut! Remember, he needs to be laid to rest in a dark, damp place so that he rots nicely without too much damage to the shell!! lol

Sleepy said...

Dred.. I'm on it!

Crisp-e said...

Ta! x