Monday, October 22, 2007

*Sigh*

Is it possible to slip quietly out of the ‘Closet’?
Just get on with living your life without having to announce to all and sundry your preferences.
No great fanfare.
General acceptance without a thought.
What about those who just get on with it?
Go to work, pay taxes and bills.
Live next door and stand behind you in the queue at Tesco.
The people who take it in turns to go to Mass, so as not to be too obvious.
Those people who ‘everybody know’ is gay but it’s never mentioned.
The people who play the pronoun game, never using he or she when referring to their ‘partner’.
Are they thought any more of if they do come out?
Or is that the ‘ramming it down our throats’ thing?
“They’re alright as long as they don’t ram it down my throat”.
A line usually followed by the sister sentence,
“Or try and push it on me”.
Whatever ’it’ might be.
Men fear this will involve their anus in someway.
Their imaginations usually going further than is practical in reality.
In truth the screaming queen who has their backs turning wall-ward has quite the opposite in mind!

It’s very rare that you get an outright,
“Dear G-d, No!” from a woman.
The most common reply heard by this Sinner is,
“I’ve thought about what it would be like with a woman, that it’s more gentle”.
Followed by the joint favourites,
“I’ve tried it but I like cock”, and “I snogged a girl at school/college/university once”
Then the most dangerous,
“I’d like to try it”.
Run.
This is the area of the Lesbian map that should read,
‘Here there be Dragons, Bunny Boilers and the Nightmare who will end your first relationship’.

What’s got me on this?
I don’t know..
J K Rowling?
Thinking about someone I know who is resolutely closeted and forced into a celibate life because of a Church unable to update itself?
Mostly I was thinking,
Why does it have to be so fucking complicated.

Ho Hum.
Mea Culpa.
Looks like Polish Mass for me.
Again.

8 comments:

Schneewittchen said...

So...are you coming out or what?
And why don't British gay people come out of the walk-in cupboard instead of the closet?

Sleepy said...

Hahaha!! Do you think I should? Do you think there is some soul out there who remains unaware?!

Yeah, they never come out of the wardrobe do they?

Schneewittchen said...

Well, you know....just in case, and it would be a good excuse for a party....as if any were needed...

Leigh Russell said...

Hi sleepy, thanks for visiting my blog. (And why do they go in there in the first place?) I posted the cover design for my book on my blog and wondered what you think of it?

Schneewittchen said...

I think they wander in when they're half asleep Leigh, and then can't get out.

I was reading the funniest letter while I was in the loo at work today. This woman said she was black, a little overweight and had a kid. She'd tried dating but had had no luck. Would she have better odds if she were a lesbian.
The reply was, 'well it's not a lifestyle choice like changing the colour of your kitchen....'

Sleepy said...

Schnee.. Hahaha!! Cracking!
That will be the euphemism from now on...
"She's thinking of changing the colour of the kitchen"!

Ana Jurney said...

Hey. I love your writing style. I don't think I've ever met a Brit who didn't make me smile with their wit and banter. Seriously. Anyway, I am enjoying your blog. I appreciate your thoughts.

Sleepy said...

ana.. Thank you. Dive in. We're a friendly bunch!